Well, here we are....

I am at the crossroads of my future and it is not nearly as fun as I expected.  I met with Mike(the pastor at Journey) for the third time today and he told me that I was the man that God had led them to, and that the job was mine if I felt the same calling.  FANTASTIC!! This is what I have been looking for.....a full time job in a great church that Brittany approved of, the chance to work with people who have the same vision and values that I do, and the opportunity to get out of retail once and for all....THIS IS GREAT!!

But wait...

It seems like the funds for a full-time Youth Pastor have evaporated due to the decision approved last night to purchase a church building.  I was crushed.  I went from this monumental high of feeling like I have finally found the calling that God has for my life to scratching my head and thinking out loud....Waaaa?  

The church has outgrown it's current digs and can not grow anymore until they find a new facility.  It seems like they have found that facility and the extra cost from purchasing it will severly cut into the funds for staff.  I still have a position, but it will be part-time as well.  This stinks.  Mike has a few ideas on how to get me to full-time status, but I honestly do not think any of them are feasible.  Maybe, with alot of help from God, but I don't know if it will work out the way he envisions it.  One of his ideas is for me to ask surrounding churches, friends, and family to help support the ministries of Journey by providing a piece of my salary for one year(enough time for the church to grow enough to support me alone).  He said that it has worked in the past, but I just don't know.  It seems weird.  I know several folks who would probably support me, but I would feel guilty anytime we purchased anything that wasn't necessity, and I have no intention of living like a pauper.  Finding that balance would be difficult.  

The good news is that the part-time pay will be enough for me to leave Starbucks and find something a little less stressful and a little more flexible.  I just don't know what I am going to do to supplement the rest of that income.  Brittany isn't happy about me leaving a salaried job to take on two part-time jobs, but I truly and honestly believe that this is God's will.  It is like the prayer says, Your will, not my wifes?  Just kidding.

 

To elaborate.....

Sorry I was rushed on the last post.  I want everyone to pray not that I would get this position, but that I have the wisdom to accept if it is God's will, and to decline if it is not.  The Church lines up with my theology, my approach to ministry, and if I planted a church tomorrow it would be exactly the blueprint that I would use.  They focus on the un-churched and those that are disconnected from God, which should be the focus of the church.  The pastor and I hit it off and I can easily see working with him and growing under his leadership.  I feel really good about my chances at the church calling me, which scares me to death.  This is the first time that I have felt like leaving Starbucks and RSUMC could be a reality.  To be completely honest, today could be my last day at Starbucks and I couldn't be happier.  I would miss the people that I get to interact with, but I would not miss this job at all.  I have gotten so burned out with being the "manager" and being the one that HAS to come in when the world is falling apart.  I do not have the passion that I once did, and I know that it shows.  My performance in the way that I have lead my store and my partners over the last couple of months have been atrocious.  It is not fair to Starbucks for me to continue to suck at what I do simply because I do not want to be here anymore.  Pastor Mike called it Holy Discontent, and I know that this "funk" that I am in will not go away until I align myself and my family with God's plan.  I am still trying to discern that, but I feel pretty confident that God has opened up this opportunity for me, and has also opened my eyes to the current culture in Robinson Springs.  I love my kids, and I love the Church body itself, but just like any church, it has its issues:

• The piano players salary per year is about a grand more than my salary plus my ENTIRE youth ministry budget.  This is ludicrous.  I pointed this out only to have nasty looks thrown in my direction.  My salary does not matter, Starbucks pays my bills, and anyone in ministry knows that there is not a mint to be made doing God's work.  My salary is not the point.  The pianist receives more per MONTH than my youth ministry does per YEAR!  My budget per month equals out to about $40, and you can't do anything with that.  I have given alot of my own funds in order to have some of the things that we do, along with donations from parents.  
• There is an immense power struggle going on right now between the Church Council and our Pastor.  They essentially have two different visions for the future of the church.  Chris is wanting to move forward and do outreach in the community and continue to do new things such as install a projector and screen in the sanctuary.  The Council firmly against this, and their only reason is because the cross on the wall would have to move to the left or right by 9 feet.......really, thats the only reason.  They also voted to not allow the Millbrook Community Players utilize our building for productions in 2008.  This really hurt the Pastor, as it was his pride and joy.  
• The Church and the Church body refuse to correct the issues we have with our Children's Ministry.  It is terrible!!  My little girl can not stand going to church because of the quality.  The volunteers do what they can, but they can only do so much.  It is impossible to get more than a handful of people to lead Children's Church, and no one is ever signed up for nursery.  The Church is almost in a state where they just want to maintain and leave everything alone, and this is obviously a huge mistake.

I hope for one of two things: either I leave to take on this new ministry and somehow someway the church realizes that you HAVE to move forward, or that I stay at RSUMC and help begin to transform the way of thinking that our church has adopted.  I know that God is doing some great things, but if the Church and Pastor can't get on the same page with each other, they will never be on the same page as God.

Please just pray for Brit and I as we make some really tough decisions.

Please......

pray for me.  There has been some movement within the full-time ministry position search.  Went to drop off a resume yesterday and it turned into an hour and a half long impromptu interview.  I am usually not very optimistic right after interviews..I have done enough of them to know that the interviewer and the candidate can see the situation completely differently.  But yesterday could not have gone much better than it did.  The pastor invited us to Worship this Sunday to check things out(still don't know how I am going to manage that) and wants to interview Brittany and I together next week.  We even discussed a timeline of my transition from Starbucks and RSUMC and how that would work.  I am really excited about, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much.  More details later......

Lots of Random Things......

I want an opinion from a couple of people, and a few of you may know what you are talking about.  It concerns a legal matter, and for that reason I won't be naming any names.  The situation is as follows:

When Brittany's mother passed away she was still a minor.  So all of the money from insurance and various other things were put in a trust fund under directions for Brit not to get these funds until she was 25.  Brit's stepdad was named the Executor of the estate and was therefore in charge of all the money that Brittany was due.  Stepdad(as we will call him), talked Brit into giving him a portion of the money, the amount isn't important, just know it was alot.  I wa against it, but Brit is extremely non-confrontational when it comes to family, and even though she really didn't want to, she allowed him to take some of the money.  We also took a portion of the money and purchased a car, because at the time the only vehicle we had was a Ford Ranger pickup, and you can't really transport a family with a Ranger.  

Fast Forward to now.  Stepdad is still the executor of the estate, but we have had VERY limited contact with him over the last 18 months.  We haven't seen him since last Christmas, and haven't talked to him since March.  He had gotten engaged to his girlfriend, and last we heard, he had retired from his job, moved to GA, and remarried.  He didn't tell us himself, we only heard it from other family.  Brit tried to call last week to get his new address so that we could mail him an invitation to Channing's Birthday party.  Apparently......his number has been changed.  Brit thought this was weird, so she tried to call his mom to get his new number and left a message.  She waited a week and still hadn't received a call back from the mom.  Finally, she called her again, and happened to get her.  She was acting very strange on the phone, almost like she didn't want to talk to Brittany.  And here is the kicker, when Brittany asked for Stepdad's new number, she refused to give it to her!  I mean, she just outright refused to give us his number OR address.  Her response was, "You'll have to talk to him about that."  How can we talk to him about not having his number........when we don't have his number or any other way to contact him?!  Needless to say it was a very awkward situation.  Brit was really upset by it.  

And so the question I post to you guys is this.......do we have a legal foot to stand on to request one of two things:

1) We receive the funds, as Brit is of age now, and the wishes of the will weren't carried out as written anyway, because some money from the funds has already been paid out.

2) A new executor is named and that person would be responsible for the funds.

I just don't understand why all of a sudden he would want to cut ties with us.  We had a rather heated disagreement a few years back while we were selling our house, but that was almost three years ago.  Everything was fine up until last year, so I don't get it.  If he really wants to cut ties with us, those funds have to be dealt with.  I don't want to think that he would try to take that money, but at this point it wouldn't surprise me.  

Other less stressful things....

• We finally watched Pan's Labryinth, and it was amazing.  The visuals were amazing, and the actress that played Ofelia was fantastic.
• The new Iron Man trailer came out last week, and it was more than I expected from a teaser trailer.  This is my must see movie of next year.
• Big games this weekend for AU and UA.  If you are a Barner, and you don't think this game is important, you are crazy.  I think Auburn will win rather easily, but if they lose.....AU will be looking for another coach.  Bama is favored 4 points over Arky, and most experts are picking them to win.  I don't get it, I haven't seen anything in the first two games that tells me Bama is capable of beating a Top 20 team right now.  I hope they prove me wrong.
• Work sucks, still.
• I went on an interview with a church for a full-time position yesterday, and we had a pretty good conversation.  There group is between 50-60 kids, but they still only have one Sunday School class??  I thought that was weird, but who am I to judge.  Just pray for me that I will have the wisdom to know if it is where God is taking me, and the courage to say no if it's not.  
• Channing is really sick.  You parents out there understand this.  When your kids are sick, it is a terrible feeling.  I hope she gets better soon, I don't know if my heart can take too much more of her mopeing around.

That's all I have.  Those with legal knowledge, please help me out on this.

 

Who.....me?

Tomorrow will be another first for me in my short time in ministry.  I will assist with the memorial service of a church member who passed away this week.  The gentleman's name is Craig Thompson and he died Sunday of a massive stroke.  The majority of his family resides in NY, and that is where he will be buried.  However, the family in Millbrook want to have a memorial service at our church for the family in town.  I will not have a huge role in the service, but it is nerve-racking nonetheless.  I am sure that there will be many timee like this, and I just hope and pray that I don't really screw up.  Keep me in your thoughts.

As I am sure most anyone reading this already knows, my pal Luke is having a tough time making some decisions and having to face some tough realities in terms of his career and future.  I sympathize with him, mostly because he is my friend and I want he and jackie to be happy in whatever they do, but also because I am right there with him.  I am in a ministry position that I absolutely love.  My kids are great, their parents are great, the church body is great, but I can not continue at the pace I am going now.  I too am realizing some harsh realities.  

• Finding a balance between Starbucks and ministry is becoming almost impossible.  Even when things are going great and we're fully staffed, things can go very wrong in a heartbeat.  All it takes is one call out to dramatically affect my Youth Group.  Scheduling events around my school and work schedules is enough to elicit blindness-inducing headaches.  
• School is tough, even it is a crappy online school.  I attend Regions University(formerly Southern Christian) and I am pursuing a B.S. in Bible/Ministry.  To be completely honest with you, I haven't taken it seriously and have managed to skate by so far without serious incident.  However, I am getting into the meat of my courses and this semester is going to be much more difficult than I had originally expected.  Luke's current situation scares the crap out of me and I know I have to ratchet up my study time and investment level, which further magnifies the problem of....
• There aren't enough hours in the day.  As a full-time student, retail manager of a millon dollar business, Youth Pastor, husband, father of two, and horrible friend, I feel like I short everyone in each of those categories.  

I am coming to the conclusion that something has to change.  I have tried to find a new full-time position that has a more reliable schedule, but have not had any luck.  I feel called to full-time ministry and I know that eventually I will end up devoting myself to a full-time position, but I wonder if that time should be now.  There are a couple of positions that I have inquired about, but every time I send an e-mail or place a phone call, I feel like I am betraying my church.  I feel like I am being selfish and looking for the easy way out, but I can not continue on my current path, or I will fail miserably as a manager, father, husband, and pastor.  I just don't know where I go from here.  

A Song for You...Now Dance Monkey, dance!

This is a song that Johnathan Cunningham and I wrote one morning on a slow shift.  His sister is about to pursue a career in country music (please contain your laughter, she is actually a very talented singer), and she wanted some songs, so here it is.

"€œLeft Me Behind"

Johnathan Cunningham and J. Martin

 

She wakes up in a bed of lies

And sells a story that no one buys

Lives in a world that she designed

Taking the pieces of other people'€™s lives

She lies about her home and her friends

Says she did things that she never did

Everyone knows it's€™ not true

And they ask her, Why can'€™t you just be you?

 

Chorus

And she says

Cause€™ I'€™m not good enough for me

I'™m so much better

When it’s all make-believe

I want to forget who I was

Where I've been

and what I'€™ve seen

Any life is better than mine

So I left me behind

 

Verse 2

She claims she went to college

but doesn’t have a degree

Says she's from New York

But she grew up in Tennessee

She says her dad'€™s a broker,

But he just lives on a road called Wall St.

And she runs from everything she knows

This isn't the way it was supposed to go

It’s a life she would like to leave behind

And people ask her Why do you lie?

 

Chorus

 

 

Bridge

She tells them that everyone lies

But what they don't realize

Is that she's not just lying to you

She'€™s trying to convince herself too

 

Chorus

I hope you like it.  It is still a work in progress, so any suggestions are welcomed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.....about those Bulls..

Last post I predicted that the Barn would suffer five losses this season...and I have realized that 5 losses is way off......Auburn may not WIN 5 games if they play the rest of this season like they did yesterday.  I look at the schedule and see only 4 games that I am pretty sure Auburn will win.  They should easily defeat New Mexico St., Vanderbilt, Ole Miss, and TN Tech.  I leave Miss. St. off this list intentionally because the Bulldogs usually beat one team a year that they shouldn't, and it might just be Auburn's turn.  I think Auburn pulls away late, but the game will be more difficult than most think.  The rest of the games on the schedule are looking more daunting with every performance.  If the team that played yesterday shows up the rest of the year, the Tigers could be outright embarassed by FL, LSU, GA, and Arkansas.  Arkansas has the running game to eat time off the clock and wear down Auburn's fantastic defense.  Georgia whipped Auburn at home last year, and that was a "rebuilding" year.  I hope Auburn has a successful year, but I am afraid that TT is afraid to pull the trigger on Brandon Cox, and that could spell disaster for 07.

Alabama looked decent.  This Vanderbilt team is puzzling, so I will leave my comments at that.

After 11 months of dedicated and faithful service, I had to retire my infamous "Starbucks" shoes today.  Brit had been barking for months that they were disgusting and falling apart, both of which are valid points, but buying shoes is a serious commitment.  I finally broke down today and purchased some new Skechers brand shoes that are really comfortable and look okay enough for work shoes....exciting day in the Martin household.

When is it time to give up?  My father-in-law and mother-in-law have been off and on since Brit and I were married almost six years ago, and now they are off again.  This is probably the 7th time they have been separated that I can remember.  I admire the effort, but when is enough enough?   If you truly can't be happy with someone, it is time to move on.  There are kids involved which makes it that much more difficult...

I got the news yesterday that Shauna, my volleyball superstar sister, won tournament MVP of "Grapple in the Grove" that her team placed first in.  She is such a good kid, and she deserves all of the great things that happen to her.

That's all I have for tonight.  I promised a song, and I will deliver...I promise.